Friday, 8 June 2012


Here's a fun fact: did you know that most French Canadian swear words are expressions based on the catholic church? I had a particular one in mind to describe my day today: tabernacle. But, here in Quebec we say tabarnak. We say it real loud and we roll our Rs with our tongue like they do in Spanish to make it sound angrier. Like the F-word, it can be used in many contexts. But, for my case today, it was the equivalent of just saying FUCK! It was just that kind of day.

I've been suffering from pretty bad insomnia, falling asleep on my couch at 3am in front of the TV and waking up at 4am at dawn when the morning news starts blasting its official-sounding trumpet music then transferring over to my bed to sleep the last 2-3 hours before my alarm goes off. Needless to say, sometimes it just feels like I'm sleepwalking on my way to work. This morning I was dozing off in the metro. I hate falling asleep in public transit because you never know if some whack job is going to steal your shit of stab you while you're asleep. Even worse, you look like a complete fool when your head starts to nod and finally falls down and you wake up all startled, looking around if somebody saw that. Of course somebody saw that! You can see them snicker in the far corner of the wagon. Tabarnak!

After riding the metro for about 45 minutes I finally get to my station. I'm slowly climbing up the stairs when suddenly my left foot doesn't go as high as it should. The tip of my foot hits the front of the step and I trip with my satchel bag flying over my head and my lunchbox bouncing in my hands and my face about to hit the floor. So I'm shuffling in the middle of the stairs with my shit all over the place about to face plant but I manage to put a hand down. I was the last one to get off the metro and everybody was ahead of me minding their own business and on their own way so probably nobody saw anything. I turn around and there was a dude there after all. He was looking at me with a suppressed smile. He saw me. Tabarnak!

After a whole day of coding and struggling to stay awake I come back home and decide to go buy a couple of shirts. Actually they're two shirts I already own, but need to replace. I bought them last year. One was one size too large because they didn't have my size at the store and thought it would still look fine, but got stretched out and became too big. And the other was ruined during a work event and I was pretty upset because it was my favorite shirt. I liked those shirts because they make me look damn fine. So I desperately wanted to replace them. Thankfully, the store where I bought them still carried them so I was able to get some new ones, even after a year! I'll probably try to sell my old ones to a second hand clothing store of some kind or something.

On my way back from my little shopping trip I was riding the metro to go home again. I was only 4 stations away from my destination when between stations the lights go out in the train. An ominous sign that something bad is about to happen. When the train stopped at the next station everyone realized the engine had stopped, the train for the opposite direction was stopped as well at the same station and the smell of something burning was filling the wagon. Tabarnak!

I knew what was going to happen next. We were all evacuated and we had to go outside. My knee is hurting, but I guess I'll have to walk those last 3 stations home. To top it off, I had to cross one of the dirtiest area of Montreal, filled with half-abandoned apartment buildings with some windows boarded up or filled with punk and separatist symbols. It was only 8:30pm and still bright outside and prostitutes were already out and about. So I walked my way back home in about 20 minutes, doing the hooker slalom. Then I crossed over in my neighborhood, filled with Dollar Stores, Pawn shops and 2$ slice pizza places and a little less hookers. Then I found this in front of a tattoo shop. Yeah, pimps start off pretty young in this hood.

When I finally got home I had enough and just crashed on the couch thinking, What a crappy day, tabarnak!

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