Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Another late walk in Montreal

These past couple of weeks have been kind of hard on me. I'm feeling mighty depressed at the moment. I think a part of it has to do with less daylight and the fact that Fall literally "fell" on us one day during a big thunderstorm and the next day all the leaves were yellow and falling and it was cold and wet and humid and everything is just going to suck from now on. I went out for a walk this week and I couldn't find my groove. Usually, walking around the city gets my mind off my troubles, but this time I was just walking around aimlessly and I didn't really know where to go. My guess is I wanted to be somewhere that I couldn't or I had what the French call Le Spleen. Also, that doesn't refer to your organ, but to one of French literature's most notable poet, Charles Beaudelaire and his collection of poems called Le Spleen de Paris. (I didn't go through two years of intense Quebec government mandated French literature classes to sound like a uneducated depressive hick, but an educated dejected professional.)

Anyway, the weather is already gloomy as it is without me bumming you out, so let me talk about a few things I've seen lately. I collected a lot of pictures, but haven't had the time to write about them as I go along. So, I'm going to write about it and try to lighten up as best I can and put that frown upside down.

There's been a lot of development in Montreal just during the past two years and it's still going on. I swear, there's not a place you can look without seeing the colour orange. Traffic cone orange, that is! Just about two years ago, before I moved back to Montreal, the Place Des Arts area was revamped. Just recently I was passing through that area to sit down for a little break and noticed for the first time that the new lights they installed look strangely like the eyes of the famous diety, the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

And thus it was written in Bobby Henderson's holy scriptures that
the Place Des Arts would be the location of the Pastafarian Holy See
where it is said that His noodly appendages gushed forth from the ground
to oversee his beloved people and blessed them through his gaze!

On the same night I was blessed by the holy Al-Dente I went through the Plateau. Again. But, not without first passing through Chinatown as I usually do. I like to walk from Place des Arts down to Chinatown to sometimes grab a bite at the Harmonie pastry shop. I enjoy their BBQ pork buns very much. This time though I noticed this one lonely neon sign buzzing on a wall west of Saint-Urbain behind the Complexe Guy Favreau.

I went closer and noticed it was, coincidentally, just a Chinese noodle place that said Nouilles Chinoises. Must be a sign from the great Ramen Lord. The place looks highly suspicious though. Maybe it's because it's at night and the street is dead on that side, but I'm willing to bet this is an underground Chinese mafia-run joint with illegal mahjong games. Then again, that's just my imagination. (Seriously, I don't know shit. If you happen to be a member of the Chinese mafia, please don't come after me! It was a lucky guess! I swear!)

I left all suspicious and crossed Chinatown to Saint-Laurent and walk the same usual path. Walking up Saint-Laurent and down Saint-Denis is good exercise, but man I need to visit other places. Still, there's always something to talk about nonetheless. For example, there's been many a times during my promenades where I heard pigs being strangled to death somewhere along the way. I thought it was odd, but I traced the source. There's this place called 3 Minots. It's a karaoke bar! No wonder!

"I cAn'T gEt nO.....SaTiSfaCtIoN!"
God! Make it stop! MAAKE IT STOOOP!!

I had to run away to save my ears, and my sanity. But, one thing's for sure, I would love to go there one night and sing my heart out. There are a few songs I'd like to sing to let out certain emotions. Don't worry, I won't song Cher's I Will Survive. No. But, it is heartbreak-related. I mean, when you have a broken heart, what better way is there to let it all out than to sing at the top of your lungs how sad depressed you are? It's therapeutic I tells ya! A song I would love to sing is The Beatle's Yer Blues. I would also like to sing Act Naturally, You've got to hide your love away and Let it be. All these songs sum up pretty well how I've been feeling the past few months. The Beatles really have it. Even though we've heard their songs a million times, their lyrics still reach out to me in a way no recent song writer ever had.

Anyway, I carried on with my walk and on my way back through Saint-Denis, I passed in front of an old vinyl store called Primitive. I stopped to take a look because they had funky looking LP covers.

One from a band named after the famous wizard Gandalf looked pretty trippy. I checked them out online and I swear you could mistake them for one of today's indie rock band. But, the 60's influence is definitely there. The music is trippy and with weird sounds and all. You can listen to their album here.

There were also two others that I found hilarious. The In-Kraut. Volume 2! So that means there is another album by that name out there with a similar concept! As it turns out, it's an album of "Hip Shaking Grooves Made in Germany". Or as Wikipedia puts it: "The In-Kraut is a compilation of records from various obscuro German pop artists released on Marina Records." There are, I think, 3 albums in the In-Kraut series. Check out this song on the 3rd album. It's The Champ by The Mohawks. You'll notice the organ part in the beginning is a part that's been used in KRS-One's Step into a world. So those In-Kraut albums are basically  popular swinging pop songs from the Austin Powers era remade by obscure German bands.

Ve arh totally cool, ja? - Ja! Ve haff svinging mussic at our party, ja!

There was also this one that made me go what the fuck? And it's called Thai Beat A Go Go. It's like Wing sings go-go songs. Here's a sample of what it sounds like. This song is called Yok Yok which means Jump Jump.

But, what really grabbed my attention in this window is the Disco Goldorak album and Goldorak Interpreted by Noam. Disco Goldorak? What the actual fuck? You know how today we have rule 66: if it exists, there is a dubstep version of it. Well, it seems back in those days, it was with Disco. By the way, Goldorak is the French name for Grendizer. Maybe you recall that Japanese anime from back in the day in the early 80's? So yeah, if it's called Disco Goldorak, it means it's French. So, before I provide a link to listen to this crap I have to warn you: it sucks. And not just a little bit. And what has been heard cannot be unheard. So click on this link at your own risk. And I'm not even going to put up anything regarding that ugly kid Noam.

The song goes: You are the grandest, Goldorak!
You, the prince of the universe!

Further down, when I got at the corner of Ontario street, I noticed a brand new place. A Mexican restaurant! Yay! M4 Burritos which stands for Mission Quatre Burritos. Is that related to the Mission district of San Francisco? No. Of course not! Why would anyone here in Montreal, Quebec know anything about that. The place was closing when I passed by and I asked the employee what's with the place and why it's called Mission. She told me it's because you pick a mission off the menu. Basically, you have four missions (duh!) where each mission is about what you want your meal to be made out of. 1: Taco, burrito, bowl or salad. 2: Pick your meat/protein 3: Pick your toppings/Extras 4: Pick your side and a drink. Looks like a nice place. It's Mexican fast food with fresh ingredients. Mexican Subway anyone?

Now walking on Sainte-Catherine I was passing in front of the Metropolis. You know, that place where I saw so many shows with my friend Fouf? The day I was walking was about a week after the election. It was also a week after a man was shot dead by a maniac who was trying to get in to kill the newly elected Prime Minister of Quebec. So there was a little display set up for the poor victim who gave his life while trying to stop the killer. May he rest in peace.

So yeah. Wow. Man, this whole post is such a bummer. I start off talking about depressed I am, followed by some imaginary pasta monster in the sky, Asian mafia in Chinatown, bad karaoke, cheesy go-go and French disco anime music, another "Mexican" restaurant and a display for a guy who got shot in the name of democracy.

I hope my next post will be a little more uplifting than this.

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